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SHITTY VALENTINES

Let Lo’BOBia Ross take the inconvenience out of saying I Love You by getting a Shitty Valentine! Let’s be real: Valentine’s Day sucks. One day to show you care? Please. You should be doing that EVERYDAY! BUT HERE WE ARE, KAREN. 

 

Shitty Valentines are the perfect way to say whatever the hell you feel! They are 4x6 inch postcard-sized illustrations using sustainable cardboard from I dunno, somewhere. You select one of the “5 P’s of Pleasure” to be drawn and BOOM - you got a Valentine.

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WHAT ARE THE 5 P'S OF PLEASURE?

What are the 5 P’s of Pleasure?

I’m glad you asked. On your valentine, I will draw from your choosing:

  • A Person

  • A Pet

  • A Posterior (ass. It means your ass)

  • A Pussy

  • A Penis. Yep. We’re getting real out here.

 

After purchase, you will receive the link to a questionnaire so you can make your naughty choices. You must answer my shitty questions to get your Shitty Valentine. 

 

On that form, you will be able to submit a picture of your loved one, doggo or kitty and I will shitastically draw it! If you’re feeling spicy, you can submit a picture of the spicy bits. I won't share. Not quite that spicy? Provide me with a brief description; small, medium or large, shaven/furball, etc. and I will make a generalized drawing. You get the idea.

3 kinds of Shitty Valentines

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Shitty

Video Valentine

$25

  • A shitty customized 30 second video featuring sweet whispers from Lo'BOBia Ross

  • Delivered via email link

  • Final day for orders: Wednesday 2/8 at 12pm EST

  • Guaranteed delivery by 2/12 at 8pm EST

  • No refunds, no revisions. Lo’BOBia ain't got time for that.

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Shitty

Digital

Valentine

$30

  • A shitty digital illustration delivered via email

  • Final day for orders: Monday 2/13 at 12pm EST

  • Guaranteed delivery by Tuesday 2/14 at 5pm EST

  • No refunds, no revisions. Lo’BOBia ain't got time for that.

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Shitty

Snail Mail

Valentine

$55

  • 4x6 inch illustration

  • FREE SHIPPING via USPS Flat Rate Envelope

  • Final day for orders: Thursday 2/9

  • Lo'BOBia will NOT guarantee delivery by 2/14

  • No refunds, no revisions. Lo’BOBia ain't got time for that.

  • If USPS loses your shit, I will redraw it. Shitty, of course!

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