SHITTY

VALENTINES

SHITTY VALENTINES

Let Lo’BOBia Ross take the inconvenience out of saying I Love You by getting a Shitty Valentine! Let’s be real: Valentine’s Day sucks. One day to show you care? Please. You should be doing that EVERYDAY BUT HERE WE ARE, KAREN. 

 

Shitty Valentine’s are the perfect way to say whatever the hell you feel! They are 4x6 inch postcard-sized illustrations using sustainable cardboard from I dunno, somewhere. You select one of the “5 P’s of Pleasure” to be drawn and BOOM - you got a Valentine.

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WHAT ARE THE 5 P'S OF PLEASURE?

What are the 5 P’s of Pleasure?

I’m glad you asked. On your valentine, I will draw from your choosing:

  • A Person

  • A Pet

  • A Posterior (ass. It means your ass)

  • A Pussy

  • A Penis. Yep. We’re getting real out here.

 

You can submit a picture of your loved one, doggo or kitty and I will shitastically draw it! If you’re feeling spicy, send the other P’s or not. I will draw the other spicy three P’s generically. Provide me with a brief description; small, medium or large, shaven/furball, etc. You get the idea if you’re reading this.

3 Tiers of Shitty Valentines

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Shitty

Postcard

$25

  • 4x6 inch illustration

  • Mailed via USPS First Class 

  • All postcards to be mailed in envelope by Tuesday 2/9

  • 50 slots available

  • No refunds. Lo’BOBia ain't got time for that.

  • IF USPS loses your shit, I will redraw it. Shitty, of course.

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Shitty

Zoom Call

$75

  • 30 minute zoom call

  • Live art lesson and drawing of your Shitty Valentine

  • Limited time slots: Friday 2/12 and Saturday 2/13

  • No reschedules. Lo’BOBia is not responsible if you or your person isn’t there at the time of call. Please plan accordingly.

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TELEGRAM

$125

  • 15 minute live performance of Lo’BOBia Ross driving to your home, giving you or your significant other the Shitty Valentine in person. What a treat!

  • Limited time slots available

  • Valentine’s Day only: 10am, 12pm, 2pm, 4pm, and 6pm.

  • No reschedules. Lo’BOBia is not responsible if you or your person isn’t there at the time of drop off. Please plan accordingly.